This is an office. Your office. You're an FBI agent with a license to kill, but no target.

You've been hoping to be put on an assignment soon and, as luck would have it, today is finally that day.
What a boring day it is, though. How could anything exciting happen on a day like today?
Oh Washington DC, you so cray.
You look down at your trusty badge that identifies you as an FBI agent. It's your symbol of honor and you wear it proudly, right next to where it says your name.

Which is...

You haven't forgotten your name, oh no, you're not a dick like that. You're just building up the suspense in your head as you imagine the director announcing the agent who gets to meet the president for such an outstanding job as an investigator.

Your name is....